Christmas gifts for gay men: toys, steel and fetish gear by budget

For a man who is new to toys, give a silicone cock ring set or a beginner anal trainer set: simple to use, hard to get wrong and well under 50. For a man who already owns a drawer full of toys, choose something he would not buy for himself, such as stainless steel, a leather harness or a vibrating prostate massager. For the two of you, pick a toy one of you controls with a remote, or a bondage kit you open together on Christmas Eve.

Below are fourteen gifts from our gift shop and the Christmas gifts shelf, grouped by who they suit and by budget, each with one concrete reason to choose it.

Christmas gifts for beginners

• Best first cock ring: Doc Johnson Gasket Tri-Pack. Three thin, flat silicone rings in one box. They stretch on easily, and he can wear one alone or two together for more pressure.
• Best first anal toy: XR Brands 3 Piece Anal Trainer Set. Three graduated silicone plugs with rounded tips and a suction cup base, made for a first try or for working towards a bigger plug.
• Best simple stroker: XKIN Raw The Grip. A 137 g TPE stroker without motor or batteries, small enough for a travel bag, with a finish that does not feel sticky.

For more first-time ideas, read our guide to the best sex toys for gay men who are just starting or browse the starter gifts.

Christmas gifts for the experienced

• Best for prostate fans: Aneros Helix Syn V. The Helix shape with a motor inside: use it unpowered, or choose from 8 vibration patterns at 3 intensity levels. It charges with a magnetic USB cable and suits a man who already knows the Helix.
• Best for size play: XR Brands Accordion. An inflatable XL plug with a tapered tip, a hand pump to build the stretch and a release valve to let it go at once. The maker aims it at experienced players, not at beginners.
• Best for a keyholder: XR Brands Rikers 24-7. A compact stainless steel chastity cage with an internal lock, so no padlock shows through clothes. Only give a cage when you know his size; our guide to the best chastity cage for men explains how to measure.

Christmas gifts for couples

• Best remote toy for two: Levelz Remote Control Tri-O Cockring with Prostate Stimulator. A cock ring and a slim, curved prostate stimulator in one, rechargeable, with 10 modes on a wireless remote. One of you wears it, the other is in charge.
• Best bondage kit to unwrap together: Crushious Master and Cummander. Eleven pieces in one box: wrist and ankle cuffs, rope, a collar with leash, a breathable ball gag, whip, paddle, blindfold, nipple clamps and dice. Every piece adjusts, so you can swap roles.
• Best small extra: Crushious Satin Blindfolds Twin Pack. One black and one red blindfold on an elastic band. A simple, low-cost way into sensation play.

The gifts for couples shelf has more remote toys, double dongs and restraints.

Steel that lasts

Stainless steel is the gift that still looks good in ten years: non-porous, easy to clean and very hard to break.

• Best steel plug: Crushious Bijou Medium. A steel plug with a blue jewel, 7 cm insertable and 3.3 cm in diameter. Cool it in cold water or warm it first for temperature play.
• Best steel cock rings: XR Brands Trine. Solid steel rings in three inner diameters from about 3.9 to 5.2 cm, which also fit most harness systems. Steel does not stretch, so this is for a man who knows his size; the cock ring guide shows how to measure.
• Best for ball stretching: Steel Round Ball Stretcher, 1.5 cm. A stainless steel ring in two halves that close around the scrotum, quick to put on and take off.

Fetish gear

• Best fetish wear under the tree: Prowler Jock. A black and white jock with the Prowler paw logo stitched at the front and thick back straps that give real support when you move.
• Best harness: Ouch! Leather Bulldog Harness. Bonded leather with four adjustable buckle straps, worn over a shirt at a party or on bare skin at home.

Jocks and harnesses come in sizes, so check what he normally wears before you order. The fetish gear gifts shelf has more collars, harnesses, hoods and gear.

Under 25 and under 50

Under 25: the Gasket Tri-Pack, XKIN Raw The Grip, the Bijou steel plug and the blindfold twin pack. All four are easy to wrap and easy to use on the first evening. See all gifts under 25.

Under 50: the anal trainer set, the Trine steel rings, the steel ball stretcher, the Prowler jock, the Bulldog harness and the Master and Cummander kit. This is where real gear starts, not just a small extra. See all gifts under 50.

Luxury gifts

When you want to give one serious present, the Aneros Helix Syn V, the Rikers 24-7 and the Accordion are each things most men hesitate to buy for themselves. The luxury gifts shelf adds automatic strokers, steel chastity, leather restraints and electro sets. Prefer a box that is ready to give? The gift sets shelf collects cock ring sets, plug training sets and bondage kits.

All fourteen gifts compared

Budget tiers follow our gift shelves at the time of writing; the product page always shows the current price.

Discreet delivery and gift cards

Orders are shipped in a plain box with no logo and no sender name, so a parcel can wait with the neighbours or under the tree without giving anything away. The order deadlines for Christmas are on our shipping and returns page. Not sure what he wants or which size he takes? A gift card lets him choose for himself.

A note on consent and safety

Restraints, chastity and big toys are gifts that come with a conversation. Agree on a safeword before the first scene, go slowly, use plenty of lube, check hands and feet for circulation when someone is tied, and never leave a restrained partner alone. A chastity cage or a steel ring comes off at once at numbness, tingling or a dark colour.

Frequently asked questions